Irrevocable Devotion
by Music's Passion
Summary: While searching for a peaceful escape, Petra must write a letter to her father. She must explain her crazy team and a certain captain before she is discovered. However, peace is not easily obtained.


The quiet in the secluded library was a welcome air to Petra. The dusty volumes decorated the spacious shelves, filling every crevice with knowledge. As she silently browsed the shelves, she couldn't help but think how Levi would've had a field day in here. The musty scent of aged books hung heavy in the air, filling Petra with a sense of peace. She had truly forgotten what peace had felt like.

Her squad, while she loved them, was not peaceful. They could be so loud and boisterous, and while Petra normally thrived in that mood, she wasn't in the right frame of mind to enjoy. Her rampant thoughts had mirrored the boys' attitude as they recounted some exaggerated tales of titan hunting to Eren. She normally would've reprimanded them and told the true story, but her thoughts were threatening to consume her. Much to everyone's confusion, she had dismissed herself and fled the room. The only peaceful place she had found in the castle while cleaning was the secret library, so she raced towards it. Now, here she was, perusing the books and delaying the inevitable.

Sighing, she abandoned her mindless searching and found a nice wooden desk. On it lay a blank parchment and a fresh pen. Petra managed to find a comfortable chair and plopped down. Her skilled fingers grasped the pen and began to twirl it.

It had been ages since she had written to her father. Her father, who had been so proud when she joined the Survey Corps. He had been so happy, albeit nervous, about her joining Levi's elite squad, which had made Petra elated. Yet, she couldn't help it as a sinking feeling surrounded her when her pen touched the paper.

_"Dear Father,"_

Her hand stopped, hesitating. How could she tell him of the dangers of the upcoming mission? About how she had grown to love her entire squad, even Eren? Also, how would she confess her feelings for…?

Petra shook her head. Her father, ever since her mother died when she was ten, had been her outlet. She could tell him anything without fear of ridicule or mockery. So when had it become so hard to let her emotions out?

"I'm becoming too much like Levi." She muttered.

Taking a deep breath, she began to write, alleviating some of the weight on her shoulders and heart.

_"I'm sorry it's been so long. Everything's happening so fast, it's hard to believe in anything. Anyway, how are you? Are you doing well? You know I miss you don't you? Right now it feels like everything is on fire._

_Remember how I was assigned to the elite Scouting Legion? That's going well, though Auruo keeps trying to flirt with me. If only he knew my heart has been taken. Erd and Gunther are like brothers to me. They are so skilled and protective, though I hardly need protecting. We can almost fight just by looking at each other, which is wonderful. Eren Jaeger, a new member of our squad, is full of rage. However, he is very polite and caring, and I can tell he looks up to Captain Levi quite a bit. I find myself acting motherly towards him. Is that a bad thing?_

_You asked about Levi in your last letter, so I suppose I could let you know more about him. He's-"_

Suddenly, Petra was stumped. Describing her Captain was like trying to get Hanji to talk about something other than her experiments. It was impossible. However, in her struggle to describe Levi, she had failed to notice the entrance of her squad. Auruo currently stood over her shoulder, straining for a look at her letter, hoping to see his name. He strayed too far into her vision, for Petra saw his form and yelped in surprise. Not expecting her to see him, he yelped too, biting his tongue in the process.

"What are you doing here!?" Petra demanded, standing up and blocking the letter.

Erd smiled, placing his hands on his hips. "Well, searching for you. I mean you did storm out."

"Yeah," Gunther continued, "What was that about?"

"Oh," Petra flustered, "Nothing, nothing important. Now, if you could please leave-"

"What's this Petra?"

Snapping her head around, Petra saw that Auruo was inspecting her letter. Face red with fury, she snatched the paper out of his hands.

"Out." She ordered.

"Someone's bitchy today." Auruo admonished. "You have a lot of catching up to do if you're going to be my wife."

Petra sighed angrily. "I'm going to rip that bloody tongue out of your mouth if you continue. This is personal. Please, just leave."

Gunther was about to say something, but Eren cut him off. "Sorry Petra. We'll leave."

Auruo and Gunther looked like they were going to protest, but Erd nodded his head in agreement. "Of course. We'll leave. Come on men, we'll leave Petra to her personal matters.

Petra visibly relaxed. "Thank you."

Muttering under their breaths, her team left the library. She could now continue her letter, and she almost called them back. Honestly, she didn't want to write the letter. What if Levi read it? What if her father asked her to leave? She couldn't leave this job, it was too important to her.

Petra shook her head, her light ginger hair swinging. She resolved that she would continue to fight for humanity, no matter what her father pleaded. She was entirely devoted to her cause, and in turn, Levi. Suddenly hit with inspiration, she began to write.

_"Levi is indescribable, but I will try my best. He is different than most people perceive. He can be cold, sarcastic, and calculating, yet he has hidden compassion that rivals the kindest of souls. He fights with fire and rage that can only be seen in his movements, and I greatly admire him for it. He has a certain strength and air to him that would repel most, but I am captivated. I have decided to devote my life to Captain Levi. This includes everything he stands for. I believe in the betterment of humanity, and I think I will be able to help Levi in this quest. I care greatly for him, and maybe he feels the same. All I am sure of is that I must continue to serve. I owe it to humanity. I owe it to Levi._

_With much love,_

_Petra Ral"_

Sighing and rubbing her temples, Petra leaned forward and closed her eyes. She may have just as well told her father blatantly that she had feelings for her commanding officer. Ever since she had met Levi, they had gotten along. It was a strange sort of relationship, one that involved silent looks and sarcastic remarks that often brought smiles, albeit small ones. Levi was somehow…comfortable, reliable, warm. She laughed bitterly, eyes still closed. She didn't have time to focus on romantic feelings. There were too many titans to kill.

"You don't owe me shit."

Once again startled, Petra whipped around to discover Levi standing next to her. His face was a blank mask, devoid of any emotions. However, his steel eyes glinted with a peculiar look, one that made Petra's skin tingle. He grasped two small cups of coffee, filling the air with a mouthwatering aroma. He reached one hand out to lay a cup on the wooden table, offering it to Petra.

Levi cleared his throat, not breaking eye contact. "Not as good as yours, but at least it doesn't taste like crap. Erd can be a decent cook when he wants to be."

"Thanks." Petra breathed, stunned that Levi was here.

She brought the steaming cup to her lips, enjoying the searing feeling of warmth it brought. It was delicious and strong, just how she liked it.

"So," she began, "Any particular reason you invaded my privacy?"

Levi looked stunned for a moment, but quickly regained his composure. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Petra raised her eyebrows. "Oh, so reading your squad's personal letters is normal?"

Levi sighed and turned to rest on the table. He took a hasty sip of his coffee, bowing his head a bit. His fringe covered his eyes, making it impossible for Petra to detect his emotions or thoughts.

"Why do you make things so damn difficult?"

Petra scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. "What do you mean?"

He turned his head to gaze into her amber eyes. Their gazes locked, and Petra noticed a pained semblance in his features.

"By devoting your life to me you waste your own. You do realize that?"

Levi's words were laced with regret and urgency. Petra could tell this was a warning, urging her to move on and put her life in safer hands. She couldn't though. The titans were too volatile, and someone needed to investigate and protect against them.

"Yes, I do." Petra retorted, standing to her full height. "We are humanities most elite. We must protect them against the titans. I gave my life for this cause long before I met you."

Levi regained his emotionless façade and nodded. Sensing that she may have been harsh, Petra moved closer to Levi and grabbed his hand. She stood, resting on the table next to him, ignoring his look.

"However, you helped fuel my need to help people. I am completely devoted to your cause." She turned to lock her gaze on Levi. She put as much compassion as she could into her next words. "You are a strong and remarkable person. I know you may not think that, but you are. I just want you to know, that if you ever need help with the burden, I'm here."

Petra squeezed his hand and smiled at him. Releasing him, she grabbed her letter and made to leave. However, just as she was about to leave Levi, a hand captured her arm, spinning her around.

The next thing Petra was aware of was soft lips crashing against her own. It took her a moment to register that the person kissing her was Levi. Letting desire overpower surprise, she kissed him back, deepening it. Levi's arms wound around Petra, and she threw her arms over his shoulders. He crushed her to his body in a desperate way, almost as if he might lose her any second. She supposed in their crazy world, that was a plausible assumption. Petra forgot everything in that moment. The titans, her team, the upcoming mission, her letter, every danger and sadness she had faced. The only thing right now was Levi.

Eventually, they needed to come up for air. As they broke apart, their gazes locked once again. Resting his forehead against Petra's, Levi took a deep breath.

"How the hell did you see that in me? Where do you see all those damned things I try to hide?"

Smiling, Petra responded, "Well, you just have to be willing to dig and see things from a different perspective."

Frowning, Petra continued, "But do you… you know, with me…"

Levi scoffed. "Of course. I wouldn't have kissed you if I hadn't. Do you think I go around kissing all of my squad?"

Petra smirked. "Auruo might be happy if you did."

Groaning, but smiling slightly, Levi disentangled himself from Petra. However, he kept her hand firmly locked in his own. Petra glanced happily at their entwined fingers, thinking for once that things may turn right for a change.

"I just have one question." Levi began. "Why the hell are you in such a filthy library? We should really clean this."

Smirking once again, Petra nodded. "Right after I seal this letter."

Levi raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure something won't distract you?"

Smiling coyly, she replied, "What would distract me?"

Levi only pulled her over to him in response, crushing her lips once again. For the first time in a long while, Petra felt at peace. However, she knew it couldn't last. Soon their mission would begin, and their lives would be on the line. But she couldn't focus on that right now. Right now, she was devoted to a cause that was worth her life. If she ended up sacrificing her life, so be it. Right now she was happy, and so was Levi. That was all that mattered.

* * *

_A/N Hope you all enjoyed! I needed to write something for Petra and Levi. Attack on Titan has recently taken over my life, so I thought this would be a nice way to express it. Happy holidays!_


End file.
